


My Old Friend

by mongoose_bite



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age Reversal, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, DILF Eren, Fluff, Frottage, M/M, Pining, has become gdilf eren, mentions of Mike/Levi, older Eren, younger Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-01 22:17:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4036543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mongoose_bite/pseuds/mongoose_bite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Levi was a teenager, the unrequited love of his life was Eren, his best friend's father. Fifteen years later, Levi finds himself back in Whitecrest Cove to sell his late uncle's house.</p><p>This story was mostly written for Ereri Week 2015.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Old Friend

Five-sixteen am.

Hello insomnia, my old friend, Levi thought. He should be sleeping; he needed sleep. He spent most of yesterday driving, and when he arrived he stayed up until one trying to make the place habitable enough to sleep in.

He was in his old room, on sheets he'd washed the night before. It was strangely quiet. Kenny wasn't snoring in the room next door, nor had he passed out in the living room with the TV blaring; he'd never do either of those things again.

Levi didn't-

He didn't _miss_ the old bastard. Not exactly.

Bit hard to miss someone who made you so thoroughly miserable, whom you fantasised about shanking in his sleep (was never game, ever, to raise a hand against him twice, even in self defence.)

Levi gave up thinking about it, and rolled out of bed. He wasn't getting back to sleep again, he knew.

He pulled on sweatpants and a tank-top from his suitcase. He had no intention of staying here long enough to make it worth unpacking properly, and collected his keys before stepping out onto the back porch.

He could smell the sea.

Whitecrest Cove was the town he'd grown up in, and he hadn't been back for over fifteen years. He'd been startled by each change he'd noticed on the drive in yesterday, each resurfaced road, each new block of units, but the place could hardly be said to be developed. Too cold, too far away from anywhere to get any but the thriftiest tourists. His uncle's weatherboard house, now his, technically, was just as he'd remembered it; maybe a bit more run-down. He had no idea if it would sell; he'd take whatever he could get for it and be grateful.

He swung his arms and stretched his legs, and turned his face to the glow in the east, and started jogging down to the beach.

He'd done this a lot as a teenager. Up and out of the house before dawn, long before Kenny was awake. He had his reasons. Today he just wanted to run.

That's what he told himself. Fifteen years, after all, what were the odds?

He should have done a better job of keeping in touch with Isabel, he knew. But she'd gone to college and made smarter, more accomplished friends than him. And he wanted, needed space from his childhood. He needed to get away. Needed to get over it; get over _him_.

He made his way between the rows of houses, his bare feet digging into the soft sand as he approached the beach. He could hear the waves now, and he ran a bit faster, feeling the cold morning air dry the sweat on his skin. He wasn't as fast as he used to be; grew not much taller but bulked up. He'd almost been lithe as a teenager. Hated it. Wanted to be bigger and stronger.

Someone had put a gate across the path, just before the beach, and affixed a No Dogs sign to it. Levi swung it open and paused at the crest of the dune.

The beach was just as he remembered. The curve of the cove, the dark rocks jutting from the white foam down the far end, none of that had changed a bit. The sun was up, or close to it, but there were clouds on the horizon, and the sea was silver. Levi took a deep breath, unprepared for how the sight would affect him. He'd spent some happy hours here, unlike at Kenny's house. He'd missed this place.

He remembered why he was here and jogged down to the beach, approaching the strip of hard, wet sand near the water. He ran his old route, heading for the rocks down the other end of the beach.

The surfers had claimed this end as their own; it was less sheltered and the waves were better, and Levi squinted into the morning sun, catching a glimpse of a couple wetsuited figures riding the waves. He was glad someone still surfed here.

Always ran this route to arrive at the end of the beach at about six am. Routine.

He slowed to a walk, and then stopped to catch his breath, remembering that this time he'd have to walk or run all the way back again. Of course he would. What was he expecting? He straightened up and watched a couple of gulls float above him.

The surfers were coming in. Well, one of them was.

Levi realised he was holding his breath and he forced himself to stop. It was too unlikely to expect, but he had been expecting. Hoping.

Tried not to look like he was staring, squinting into the sun as the black-clad figure strode from the water, board under his arm.

All those ridiculous fantasies, of growing up and going away and coming back taller and richer and adult and self-assured and meeting on the beach and 'I almost didn't recognise you' and 'you look good' and kissing him right there. Even if such things were likely once, he was at least ten years too late for that sort of reunion. What were the odds that he still made it to the surf on cloudy Tuesday mornings at his age?

It  _was_ him.

Greying hair pulled back in a ponytail and a face weathered by decades in the surf, and solid, surfer's legs and eyes shadowed by the sun at his back but still as green as Levi remembered. A curious, polite quirk of his lips, as he wondered who Levi was, and this his jaw dropping as he realised.

“Levi?”

“Mister- Eren.” Shit. Smooth, Levi.

God he'd missed him. He was so much  _older,_ when had that happened? Levi told himself if he cried was never, ever going to forgive himself.

Eren grinned, and then his smile faded, “I heard about your uncle.” Uneasy, uncertain whether or not to offer condolences. Levi wasn't sure if he wanted them either. “Wasn't sure you'd come back.”

“I got in yesterday evening,” Levi said. He was going to look him up. Probably. If running along the beach at dawn hadn't done the trick. “Dunno how long I'm staying.”

Eren nodded, water dripping off the ends of his hair. “Want some breakfast?”

Just like old times. Knowing Kenny never kept a lot of food in the house.

Levi nodded, suddenly as shy as he'd always been when presented with yet another example of Mister  Yeager 's generosity.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Eren still had that pick-up truck, and he looked quite proud at Levi's surprise that it was still running.

“Cost me a fortune over the years,” he admitted, towelling himself off while Levi looked anywhere but at the way his muscles moved under the wetsuit as he rubbed the towel over his head. Levi hoped he'd change before getting in the truck and this was fucking ridiculous he was least fifty, for fuck's sake, and telling himself that wasn't really convincing Levi's stomach to stop churning or his palms to dry out.

He could forgive himself for being a wreck over Eren when he was seventeen, but it was kind of pathetic to be drooling over the same body at thirty-four. Like he hadn't changed or grown up at all.

Eren stowed his towel and board in the back and neither said much as they drove back to Eren's house. Same house. New paint. New letterbox. The trees were bigger, the lawn still neatly mowed; Levi wondered if Eren paid another teenager to do it or if he did it himself. He suspected he only employed Levi as an excuse to give him some money. He knew Levi's pride drew the line at direct financial charity.

He'd been so kind.

Still was, clearly.

There was no sign of Isabel's friendly lab, Sparrow, but of course there wouldn't be. She was getting on a bit when Levi left home.

Eren led the way inside, and the house  _smelled_ just as Levi remembered it.

“Have a seat, I'll get changed and fry us some eggs,” Eren said, and disappeared upstairs. The stairs still creaked in the same spots.

Levi sat down on his favourite spot on the couch, and promptly fell asleep.


	2. Pining

Levi woke up slowly, feeling safe and warm, Eren's scent surrounding him. He curled down a bit, trying to hide from the sunlight that had woken him up. He couldn't remember if he had school today or not.

Wait, what?

Levi blinked his eyes open as his mind helpfully filled in the past decade and a half. For a moment he'd entirely forgotten. Eren had draped a blanket over him; probably from his own bed given how it didn't smell stale, like one from the closet would have. It smelled like Eren, who apparently smelled just as he always had. Levi sat up slowly, reluctantly pushing it aside. The house was quiet.

There was a note on the coffee table, weighed down by one of the seashells that were scattered around the whole house; Isabel had spent a childhood bringing them home. Levi picked it up and smiled to see Eren's scrawl hadn't improved.

_ Had to go to work & decided not to wake you up. Help yourself to breakfast. We should catch up. _

_ -Eren _

He'd added his phone number underneath, but Levi didn't have his phone on him, so he folded the note carefully and put it in his pocket, his keys on top so it wouldn't work its way out.

Breakfast, huh? His stomach was starting to ache it was so empty; he'd had dinner at some roadside diner last night and hadn't eaten anything since. He felt a bit guilty to be taking advantage of Eren yet again, but there was nothing back at the house. He made a mental note to go grocery shopping later and carefully folded the blanket.

He'd meant to go into the kitchen, make some tea and fry a couple eggs and leave, but he found himself just sort of drifting around, touching things. The fridge was empty of Isabel's report cards but there were plenty of postcards stuck to it instead, alongside the ever-present shopping list, and Levi resisted the urge to turn them over and read them.

It was an ordinary kitchen, it always had been, but Levi stood there for some time, comparing its current incarnation with his memories, cataloguing what had changed. He used to wish so hard that he lived here it hurt. He'd ached a lot back then, and he could feel an echo of that pain in his chest still. He'd loved Eren so fiercely for years, had daydreamed endlessly about sharing this house with him.

He'd spent a bit of time berating himself for it, but eventually he'd come to accept it as only to be expected. This was later, once he'd moved away, when emotions had been dulled by distance and time and the inevitable growing up he'd done since he left home. He'd thought seeing Eren again would be like coming back to family.

His mind's eye showed him Eren emerging from the surf, wetsuit gleaming. He was pretty sure his stomach wouldn't flutter like that if it had been Isabel.

Shit. They'd barely spoken and he was running ahead of himself.

Levi fished the frying pan out of the sink (he really must have been out of it if Eren making himself breakfast hadn't woken him up) and started cooking. The sleep had done him good, despite the fact he'd been sleeping sitting up; he hadn't really been able to relax since the hospital had contacted him with the bad news. He'd started organising time off, but he hadn't made any special effort to see Kenny before he died; he gathered he was barely conscious most of the time anyway.

He hadn't even  _ known _ his uncle had lung cancer and he'd felt bad about that, even though he had no reason to. Kenny clearly hadn’t wanted him to know.

But this morning it felt like the weight had lifted some. Even after all these years, Eren had a knack for making him feel that things were gonna be okay.

He cooked and ate and washed up and put everything away and resisted the urge to explore the rest of the house. He remembered spending heart-pounding moments in Eren's room when he was alone in the house, not game to touch anything, just wanting to experience his space and feeling guilty and embarrassed for being so desperate he’d violate his privacy like that.

Being a teenager had really sucked, and it made you do really stupid things, he thought as he made sure the house was locked behind him and walked the familiar route back to Kenny's house. He didn't want to remember it, but it was hard to escape when everywhere he looked tiny details brought back memories.

It was to be expected, he supposed.

But it wouldn't do to fall into the same old patterns around Eren, not if he wanted to-

Okay really? Gonna do that Levi? Gonna hit on your teenage crush even though he is still old enough to be your father and now old enough to be someone's granddad. Levi paused at the front gate of Kenny's house but he wasn't really looking at it.

There was no reason, now, why he shouldn't make a pass at Eren, other than the fact that it would probably be horribly awkward and he was likely to get turned down. And it might ruin a possible friendship and fuck he's kind of short on those.

But he also had a long day of cleaning out his uncle's house, and if daydreaming about Eren made it go a bit more pleasantly, well, he didn't have to  _ act  _ on it or anything.

He started with the kitchen. The hard bits would be going through his and Kenny's personal things, but the gross bits had to be done first before they got grosser. Kenny had never been much of a cook, and once he'd gotten sick he seemed to have given up on the idea entirely. Levi started unearthing weevil-infested ingredients from the back of cupboards and bagging them up for disposal.

And he thought about Eren. Remembered how his heart pounded every time they spoke, remembered how he used to dream about him; vague virginal dreams of sex that left him panting and sticky. Remembered how happy he was just hanging out with his best friend and her father, learning to surf, or attempting to do school work, or studying. Eren never made him feel small or unwanted.

The first time he took a break he remembered Eren's number and sent him a text to confirm he'd deciphered it correctly. Eren got back to him half an hour later.

_ Did u end up having breakfast? _

_ I did. Thank you. _ He hovered over the screen a moment.  _ You don't need to make sure I'm eating enough any more. _

_ Old habits, Levi ;) _

“Don't dad me,” Levi said out loud as he put his phone away and faced the kitchen again. It made it hard to pretend they could be otherwise.

He was planning on throwing almost everything in the house out, and once the kitchen was no longer a health hazard he telephoned to organise a skip and walked down to the shops to buy some food. He was startled to see most of the old shops were gone, and a mall had taken their place; not large by most standards but it seemed too big for Whitecrest Cove.

No one seemed to recognise him, but he felt self-conscious anyway. He hadn't had many friends, and he kept glancing into the faces of people his own age, wondering if they were classmates. It was unlikely; most kids left and didn't come back. Isabel was long gone and he wondered what she was doing nowadays. He should have kept in touch.

Kenny hadn't been home for weeks, and while it meant that while the kitchen was horrible the bathroom was less so and Levi tackled that next. The skip arrived mid-afternoon; he didn't recognise the driver of the truck that delivered it.

He'd donate the furniture and any old clothes that were still wearable to the local op shop, he thought, pacing around the house, taking inventory. Honestly, it wouldn't be that bad; Kenny wasn't so great about hanging on to physical possessions. It would probably take less than the week he'd taken off work to sort through it and leave it in the hands of the real estate agent.

And then he'd say goodbye to Eren again. He stopped dead at the thought. He hadn’t really said hello yet.

He'd never told anyone but Isabel about Eren. Not even Mike, and he’d told Mike about Kenny, so that was saying something. Levi had answered Mike's ad for a roommate about six months after he’d left home and they became friends and then friends with benefits and then lovers and then friends with benefits again and then Mike had met Erwin at a concert and Levi had spent a couple of nights moodily kicking rocks all over the city and either trying to cry or trying not to and he wasn't sure which because moving out was painless and within two days of finding his own place he felt strangely light-hearted.

They were still friends.

It meant he couldn't really go to Mike for advice now, however. Mike had offered to come with him, generous as always (Levi appreciated generosity; he worked hard to cultivate it in himself, but he knew it didn't come naturally to him) but Levi had declined. Mike's presence would have made things more difficult, even if it would have made moving furniture easier.

He could ask Eren. Eren would say yes.

Christ, he'd stayed so fit. That really was a low blow, and Levi hadn't been expecting it. He'd always been gorgeous; Isabel had said more than one girl had confessed a crush on him to her, but no one had any right to look as good with greying hair as he did. He was solider that Levi remembered, his muscles less defined, and skin at the corners of his eyes and mouth creased with time. Despite how far away summer was, his skin was a deep brown, at least, the parts of it Levi had seen was. He wondered if he had tanlines from his wetsuit, or if he still went swimming often enough without it.

Levi deeply regretted not packing his trunks. He hadn’t even considered it at this time of year.

When he came to his senses, Levi didn't know how long he'd been standing and staring blankly at the wall. He took his phone out of his pocket, but Eren hadn't sent him another text. He stared at the device for a while before putting it back in his pocket and sighing.

Well, that much hadn't changed; still hopeless about reaching out to people. Sometimes he wondered if Mike wasn't just some sort of fluke.


	3. Summer Job

Levi’s bedroom was almost as tidy as he’d left it. Kenny had stacked a few boxes of what appeared to be junk in it, but otherwise had left it alone, and Levi had never been a messy child. Not that Kenny had thanked him for it; Kenny was a slob, and didn’t seem to notice how disgusting the place got. Good luck asking for pocket money for tidying up, either.

Levi’s first job had been for Eren. Isabel had detested mowing the lawn so much she was willing to let Eren pay some of her allowance to Levi instead in exchange for letting him do it. Or maybe they’d come up with the idea together; working out how Levi might earn some cash for himself without forcing him to take charity.

It was hard to believe Eren and Kenny were of the same generation. Eren was always fixing things or painting things or building some piece of useful furniture, even if the simplest projects took upwards of six months to complete. Levi was a willing apprentice, and even now the smell of varnish and sawdust took him right back to sweltering, sticky Saturday afternoons in Eren’s shed, Isabel flopped on a shaded part of the lawn while he and Eren tinkered. He supposed Eren was trying to be a father figure to him, but Levi spent most of his time watching the sweat bead on Eren’s skin and fantasising that the flush on his face wasn’t from the heat and hard work.

Levi didn’t have a dad and he didn't really want one. He had an uncle and that was bad enough.

A quick examination of the boxes revealed nothing worth saving and Levi carted them straight out to the skip. Next he decided to sort through his clothes; he doubted any of them would fit him, but if they weren’t too moth-eaten they’d be fine to donate. He started making two piles; one for the skip and one to be washed before donation.

Most of them were folded neatly, but at the back of his closet he found a black tshirt balled up and thrown behind several pairs of worn-out shoes. He shook it out and immediately it all came back to him.

There was a beer logo on the back, and the shirt smelled of sweat and smoke and beer, and suddenly he was back there at Whitecrest Surf Club, doing what he shouldn’t.

He’d needed a job. Eren was generous but mowing his lawn once a fortnight wasn’t anywhere near enough, and with Kenny’s reputation hanging over his head, he had a hard time finding other work. He ended up working behind the bar at the Surf Club a short way up the coast, getting a lift with one of the barmaids in and a lift with the manager home again. He was paid cash off the books and he knew it wasn’t legal for him to be serving drinks at his age, but he weighed up his options and decided he didn’t actually have any.

He hated that place. Whitecrest Cove was the sort of town in which everyone knew everyone else and the letter of the law was considered just needless fussing, so more often than not he ended up serving people who were also technically too young to be drinking. He hated the dirt, the smell, the sand that he was endlessly trying to sweep out. He hated the Beach Boys tape the owner played incessantly until it broke. He hated the generic pop he replaced it with. The barmaids thought he was weird and didn’t talk to him much, each planning their own escape from this place.

The tips weren’t much either. He didn’t have tits to shake to encourage more generous ones and after the first few nights he gave up trying to smile for them.

He was good at his job though. He was fast and clean, even if it amused some patrons to request liquor from the top shelf just to make him get a stool to stand on to collect it. He kept his mouth shut and his bar tidy and his earnings in an envelope wedged behind a chest of drawers in his room. Not that he thought Kenny would think to go looking for it. Kenny’s neglect had partially manifested itself as a complete disinterest in Levi’s room and what he did in there. He spent so much time at Isabel’s place that Kenny probably didn’t even notice his late nights.

Levi suspected that Eren did, but he never mentioned it. He didn’t pry.

Of course Eren found out eventually, because there really weren’t a lot of secrets in Whitecrest Cove. The Surf Club technically wasn’t in Whitecrest Cove itself, and for all his love of surfing Eren was only a member out of politeness. But there weren’t a whole lot of places to go for a night out and it was probably inevitable Eren would show up sooner or later.

It was a Friday night and the Surf Club was busy. Levi barely looked up as he took money and served drinks and prayed that no one would be too disgusting in the bathrooms that night; he’d have to clean them later.

It was only when a customer stood there in silence that he looked up and met Eren’s shocked gaze.

“What can I get you?” Levi heard himself asking, while Eren narrowed his eyes. Levi could see him shifting his jaw, trying to work out what to do and Levi pleaded with him silently to say nothing.

Eventually he ordered a beer and Levi breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn’t going to be that easy, of course, but disaster had been averted for now. Levi hoped Eren would drink and go home as soon as possible, but his party—some nurses from the hospital—ordered food and more drinks and Eren watched him.

He watched him all night. Every time Levi dared glance in Eren’s direction, which happened less and less frequently as Eren’s grim expression didn’t waiver, Eren met his eyes. Levi was angry and guilty but he couldn’t go anywhere and he stayed, and Eren stayed.

Eventually Eren’s companions called it a night and they left thanking him for taking them out and he told them he’d see them next week, and then he ordered another drink and stayed nursing it, right until closing.

When the barmaids started stacking chairs and Levi got his broom out, Eren had vanished along with the last of the stumbling customers. It was a fact of Whitecrest Cove life that drink driving laws were not taken too seriously either, as long as one stayed off the main street or avoided the police station, and Levi listened to the usual roar of engines as he swept sand and cigarette butts out over the balcony and onto the dune below. He’d considered, for a moment, vaulting over the railing and making for the beach, but it was a long walk back and he wouldn’t get paid if he did.

Instead he’d collected his earnings and walked out into the parking lot like a lamb to slaughter.

Eren was waiting for him, leaning against the door of his pickup, arms folded. Levi stood in front of him, miserable and defiant.

“You could get in so much trouble,” Eren said, sounding tired.

Levi shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and shrugged. He knew that; he wasn’t stupid. He’d calculated the risks; no one was gonna care.

“Not just from the law,” Eren continued. “You know there’s a punch-up every other week out here.” Levi wasn’t the only angry young man stuck in this town, after all. “You could get hurt.”

“I can take care of myself,” Levi said. “I know how to fight.”

That wasn’t the right thing to say. Eren’s eyes narrowed and flashed dangerously in the overhead light.

“Levi-”

“ I get a lift back,” Levi said, trying to do some damage control. “And in. I don’t walk. And like, they don’t fight  _ in _ the bar. I know I shouldn’t be here but there isn’t  any place else that wants me.” The truth hurt, and he hated having to say it out loud.

The owner came out, talking to one of the barmaids, and he glanced at Levi and Eren.

“I’ll take him home,” Eren called and he nodded and gave them a wave.

The last thing Levi wanted was for Eren to take him home but it was too late now.

“I need the money,” Levi said. “And I ain’t taking yours.”

Eren regarded him silently for a moment that stretched on beyond uncomfortable. Then he sighed and unfolded his arms.

“You gotta do what you gotta do,” he said. “Promise me you’ll call me if you need to.”

“Yeah,” Levi said, startled into acquiescence. “So you’re not gonna do anything?”

“And possibly get Whitecrest’s historic Surf Club and only one of two watering holes in the area closed down? Heaven forbid. I’d be run out of town and I can’t make Isabel change schools so close to graduation.” He cracked a smile and Levi answered with a wan version. “Let’s get you home.”

They got in the pickup and Levi thought about trying to explain why he needed the money, but when they arrived back at his house, Eren stuck his hand out and Levi shook it and there was something so final about it Levi realised Eren already knew.

“Good luck out there,” he said and Levi knew he meant it.

That was the goodbye he remembered most clearly. He’d said goodbye again, waving Isabel and Eren off as they left for the trip to college, but he’d left town by the time Eren came back alone, not wanting to prolong his adolescence any longer and desperate for the rest of his life to begin.

After his last shift he’d torn this shirt off and shoved it aside, not quite game to throw it out in case it all went wrong and he had to come back. He spread it out on the worn carpet, smoothing it out and marvelling that he even fit into it.

Maybe he’d keep it.

After he’d given it a wash.


	4. Caught in the Act

It was heading on for dinnertime when Levi finally reached the lowest strata of his closet. He wasn't even checking the clothes this old; they were all moth-eaten and mouldy and he was tossing them in the box he'd designated for the trash trying not to touch them too much.

Not a bad day's work, he thought, staring at his empty closet. He threw the salvageable clothes in to wash, and took the box out to the skip. That would do for today. He felt he needed to brace himself before going into Kenny's room.

His shoes scuffed on the slightly sandy concrete as he carried the box out to the skip. He glanced down at the box of clothes in his arms and then set it down near the skip. He hadn't looked at it twice when he'd filled it, but sitting on top was a tiny white _Karategi._ It was moth eaten, like most of the other clothes the same age, and the right size for a six-year old. There was some odd discolouration on some parts of it, and Levi carefully lifted the tunic from the box, shaking it out a little.

He dropped it back on the other clothes to press the back of his hand against his mouth as he felt a sob well up in his throat, without warning.

You miserable fucking bastard.

“Fuck,” he choked out. “Fuck!”

He gave up trying to suppress it at that point, and he braced his forearm on the edge of the skip and let himself cry. There was no stopping it; a fountain of grief that swelled in his chest and made it hard to breathe. He clawed his hand in his hair, gritted his teeth, and stared at his own feet, barely seeing them through the film of tears.

Kenny wasn't worth crying over, he thought, but the thought that someone might not be worth crying over was worth crying over in and of itself. All he could hear was his own hitching breaths, and he was caught entirely by surprise when he realised he was no longer alone. He didn't know how long he'd been standing there, crying into the crook of his arm when he heard a familiar voice.

“Levi?” Eren's voice was soft, uncertain.

Levi jerked his head up. Eren was standing just outside the front gate. He had to have walked from home, given he wasn't dressed for work.

“Um, shit.” Levi wiped his eyes against his arm, his hands still dusty.

“Sorry, I, uh.” Eren rubbed the back of his neck. “Wanted to see how it was going. Sorry.”

“It's fine.” Levi's voice sounded rusty and he gave up trying to hide what he'd been doing. Eren was still standing awkwardly at the gate. “You can come in,” Levi said.

“It can't be easy,” Eren said. He didn't know what to say, Levi realised. The Eren Levi remembered always seemed to know the right thing to say. There was a gap between them now, an unease. Eren no longer had the right to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. Eren looked down at the box at their feet. “Those are yours?” he asked.

“Kenny wouldn't pay for karate,” Levi said. He lifted the box and dumped the whole thing into the skip and it hurt but he was already hurting and it was done now. “When I told him about it he said all that bowing and rules wasn't how you won fights. He said he'd teach me instead. He did.” Levi swallowed, his throat sore. He was glad the twilight had deepened to the point where it was hard to make out faces. He didn't want Eren examining him too closely. “He did teach me. I think he wanted to make sure I could defend myself from him if I had to.”

“That's horrible.”

Levi glanced at Eren and realised Eren wasn't looking at him. Politely or awkwardly staring at his feet instead; he couldn't tell which. Levi breathed a bit easier. This was just Eren. He could trust him still, even after all this time.

Levi shrugged. “He didn't have to take me in. He didn't want to. I think he knew he'd be shit at it, but he did. And he tried, in his own way. I really think he did. Until I was old enough to look after myself.” Levi looked up at the first few stars in the sky and then at the house, anywhere but at Eren. It was a big and complicated thing and now Kenny was dead it was all up to him what to make of their relationship.

“It's never black and white, is it?” Eren mused. “He used to make me so angry when I saw how he treated you.” There was something hard and rough in Eren's voice and Levi looked at him, startled. He'd seen Eren frustrated and annoyed, but that sort of deep fury was new to him. “I considered calling someone, you know, but I figured you were so close to graduation it might do more harm than good. I really just wanted to beat the crap out of him.” Eren shrugged but Levi could see his fists bunching in his pockets. “You deserved so much better.”

“Eren, he could have really hurt you,” Levi said. He'd never wanted Eren and Kenny to meet for just that reason; Kenny with his rangy strength and animal cunning was no match for someone as open and kind as Eren.

At least that's what he'd thought. Eren tilted his head, flicking a strand of grey hair out of his eyes and gave Levi a knowing, wolfish smile. He held himself differently, hands still in his pockets, but alert somehow. Macho, a word Levi had never really thought to associate with Eren before, flittered across his mind. All that respectable dad stuff was real enough, but Levi realised that children never see the whole of their parents, or their friends' parents.

“I don't think so, Levi,” Eren said.

It was one of the hottest things Levi had ever seen. Jesus Christ, who _are_ you, Eren? Who were you before you became a dad? He was staring, and Eren was looking back.

Okay.

“Anyway,” Levi cleared his throat. “Thanks for breakfast.”

“No problem.” Eren's shoulders dropped, and the moment passed. “I was gonna see if you wanted grab something to eat. Catch up.”

“Yeah, I could use the distraction. Thanks.” And there is nothing more distracting than you.

Eren waited outside while Levi went in to change his shirt and wash his hands and face. He peered at himself in the mirror and it wasn't too obvious that he'd been crying at least.

They wandered over to the main street, and to Levi's surprise the Chippery was still open. It was under new management, Eren said, and not as good, but you could still get a fisherman's basket for a reasonable price and they sat at one of the formica-topped tables getting their fingers greasy.

Eren looked older under fluorescents than he had on the beach, but Levi found himself flicking glances at him anyway. The hair on his arms was greying.

They caught up. Eren still worked at the tiny local hospital as an administrator; he'd abandoned his medical degree to look after Isabel, and no, he'd never gone back to finish it. Isabel was working for a wildlife sanctuary and living with a nice fellow who organised conferences or something.

He wasn't seeing anyone. “Not a lot of options in a town like this one,” he said wryly.

Levi worked for a tea company, behind the scenes warehouse stuff.

“I'm learning the trade. I want to open my own shop someday, although unless Kenny's house turns out to be over an oil well I'm not sure when I'll be able to afford it.” No partner right now. No time.

They talked about house prices for a while, and then Eren said that line of conversation was boring and asked Levi about his ideas for a shop.

“I really didn't know what you wanted to do with your life, and it seemed condescending to ask. Isabel was always mad for animals.”

“I wanted to get out. Everything else could sort itself out later.”

Eren smiled, “I'm glad it did.”

Levi shrugged, he wasn't so certain. “It's just a crappy job and an idea so far.”

“We all start somewhere.”

“I haven't even decided where I'd want to be. I think,” Levi looked out the window at the street outside. “Maybe somewhere closer to the sea. I missed it. You still surf every day?”

“Near enough to. More salt water than blood in my veins now. Come out with me sometime.”

“What?”

“You can use Isabel's old board, just like you used to.”

Levi shook his head, “I didn't even think to bring my gear.”

Eren shrugged, “You can borrow mine. You'd probably fit into them now.” Levi looked up in time to see Eren snap his mouth shut, and wondered if Eren had been mentally measuring his arse for his board shorts. “If you want. I understand if you don't have the time.”

“Well, maybe,” Levi said.

They sat in awkward silence for a while and then Eren suggested he had to be getting back.

“Or.” They were splitting up to go to their respective homes when Eren stood still. “There's usually a bonfire on the beach on Fridays. The surf kids, you know. Not much else to do around here. I don't always go but,” he shrugged. “This is your hometown, we should do something nice. Welcome you back. I mean, I don't know how long you're gonna be around so if you're planning to leave before Friday, that's fine.”

“No, I'll still be here.” His heart was thumping. It wasn't really the invitation so much as Eren's uncertainty about it. He didn't know what they were, which mean they weren't surrogate parent and child. Which was something.

“Well, it starts around six. I'll bring some beers.”

“Right.”

“Alright. Goodnight, Levi.”


	5. Fireflies

This was an uncomfortably familiar sensation, Levi thought; going through his meagre wardrobe trying to work out what to wear because he was going to meet Eren.

Friday had taken forever to arrive. Kenny's house was almost completely empty now, and as clean as Levi was going to get it. He'd made a few minor repairs to the place, but doing it up properly was beyond his budget and he had his doubts it would be worth the money in the end anyway.

Back at work on Tuesday, he decided. He'll drop the keys off at the real estate agent's Monday morning and drive back. He could have done it this afternoon and driven back over the weekend but he had the extra day up his sleeve and Eren's invitation had never been far from his thoughts.

The evening was chill but not too blustery, and after cycling through his shirts again Levi threw one on at random and took his jacket with him, slinging it over his shoulder as he tromped down to the beach, using the same route he usually ran in the mornings. He'd seen Eren out on the surf and they'd exchanged waves, but Levi had felt shy and unsettled and had turned back before he could come ashore and offer him breakfast.

It was gloomy by the time he saw the ocean, endless whitecaps rolling in and losing themselves on the flat sand, the sea itself dark and inscrutable. The bonfire was already going halfway down the beach, and Levi could hear music coming from the speakers of the 4WD parked next to it. There were a couple of dozen kids—okay, young people—milling about and feeding the fire and Levi's footsteps faltered for a moment as he watched their lean firelit forms casting long shadows across the sand. This wasn't his scene. Even when he'd been their age, it wasn't his scene. He'd surfed with Eren and Isabel only, secretly not game to try and compete with the surfers his own age who'd grown up with it, their friendships and hierarchies cemented long before he approached the waves.

He felt relieved when he spotted Eren talking to a young man with dreadlocks, his back to the fire. He was wearing shorts, like most of the others despite the chill, and Levi felt a bit overdressed in his jeans. Eren had his hair down, the firelight catching the silver strands in it as Levi approached.

When he saw him, Eren smiled and waved him over.

Eren introduced him to some of the other people, but Levi could see he didn't interest them in the slightest; they genially dismissed him as just another adult, and Levi didn't really mind. He hadn't enjoyed being their age; to be an adult was something of a relief. He was here for Eren's sake, not theirs.

Eren was one of the few people who'd thought to bring folding chairs and he and Levi each claimed one upwind of the fire, close enough that Levi took off his shoes and felt the heat on his toes and the cold sand under his heels. Eren handed him a beer from one of the eskies, and Levi stretched out, and looked at the sparks flying upward against the smoke-darkened sky. It was starting to sink in that the house was done, and he could finally relax.

The kids were cooking seafood and sausages on the fire, and he could see a girl industriously wrapping potatoes in aluminium foil for baking. Those that caught the fish ate the fish and Eren and Levi made do with slightly charred sausages in white bread. Normally Levi would have turned his nose up at such fare, but the chill and the smell of the sea made him hungry and uncaring of a bit of charcoal.

The kids didn't say much to Eren, but they deferred to him. Levi could see he was their old man of the sea, capable of calling bullshit on their wild stories but refraining from doing so. Levi understood how they felt; he was safe but not restrictive. They could dance and make out and drink on the beach and he wouldn't let anything really bad happen to them, as he leaned back in his canvas chair and watched the stars through the smoke.

“You come here often?” Levi asked.

“Often enough that I keep getting invited, but not so often I wear out my welcome.” It was somewhat calculating, but Levi knew Eren was just keeping the peace, knowing there would always be that gap across generations. “How's the house going?” Eren asked.

“It's done,” Levi said.

“I guess I shouldn't be surprised, you work hard.” Pause. “When are you leaving?”

“Monday. I gotta hand in the keys before I go.”

“Right.”

Some of the young men got into a scuffle, pushing and shoving and laughing and Eren kept an eye on them but didn't interfere.

“Sorry I couldn't stay longer,” Levi said.

“No you're not. Whitecrest doesn't have all that much to offer.”

There's you. “There's the beach,” Levi said. “I could, next time I have a vacation, maybe come back,” he suggested hesitantly. He wouldn't have anywhere to stay, after all.

To his disappointment, Eren didn't offer him a bed, in the spare room or otherwise. Instead he heaved a sigh and pulled another bottle out of the melting ice.

“I never intended to spend my life here, you know?” He looked at the fire and then at Levi. Levi could see the reflected flames dancing his his eyes, like fireflies. He's offering me something, Levi thought, but wasn't sure what.

“Yeah?”

“I came here because the job was here and it was cheap, and I wanted Isabel to have the kind of childhood I wished I had. You know, fresh air, the ocean, somewhere it was safe enough for her to walk to school. I can't say the place has treated me badly, but I always figured I'd leave once she was done growing up.” Eren dropped his gaze to his weathered hands, still loosely holding the unopened bottle. “I guess the beach kept me here, you know? I kept putting it off.”

Levi didn't know what to say, but to hear Eren put his insecurities into words, to speak with him as an equal adult—he felt honoured and inadequate. He wasn't good at talking about things. He and Mike had done without a lot of words.

“And now I'm old,” Eren said softly.

“Fuck off!” Levi said loudly enough that a couple of heads turned. He scowled and lowered his voice. “That is bullshit and you know it,” he said, daring Eren to snap back.

Eren didn't snap, but his gaze flicked back up and he pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Well I'm too old to finish my degree. A junior doctor at my age?”

“Okay, so? Find another beach, closer to Isabel or something. I don't know, what do you want to do if not this?”

“I don't know. I haven't been thinking about it long. When I saw you again and you'd,” he made a gesture, up and down. “Grown up, I realised how much time had really passed. It was a shock,” he admitted.

Levi braced himself, and reached out. Eren's arm was warm and lightly furred under his fingertips.

“If I can get out, you can.” He pulled his hand back again.

“Will that be enough, I wonder?” He opened the beer and drank from it and Levi realised he was still only halfway through his. He didn't really _like_ beer much. It reminded him of Kenny. He didn't get a chance to reply as one of the surf kids came up to ask Eren's opinion on the weather for the next few days, and Levi slumped back in his chair, feeling both sleepy and unsettled.

He got the feeling Eren's conversation had been deliberate, like he wanted to show Levi this side of himself specifically but Levi didn't know what sort of response he wanted. He listened to Eren's voice as he advised the other surfers, but let the contents of his words wash over him and mingle with the crackle of wood and the crash of waves.

This feeling was familiar too; that everything was fine as long as Eren was nearby. How could he not have grown out of that?

“Levi.”

“Hm?” He got the feeling this wasn't the first time his name had been called.

“Falling asleep?” Eren asked.

“I can't hear the waves from the house,” Levi said. “I could hear them from yours, when there was a wind up.” He'd been thinking about it. He really did want to live near the sea again.

Eren took his non sequitur in stride.

“Going to head back? Want a lift?”

“No, I'll walk, thanks.” He realised he was falling asleep. Hopefully his insomnia would hold off tonight. He started putting on his shoes. “And thank you for inviting me.”

“It's really been good to see you again,” Eren said. “I did wonder how you were getting on out there over the years.”

“I'm sorry I didn't keep in touch.”

“No, I wouldn't have expected you to. You gotta do what you gotta do.”

Levi smiled, “I remember you telling me that.”

“Yeah, sounds like me. When you don't know what the fuck to say, find a meaningless platitude to fill in the gap.”

“It wasn't meaningless,” Levi said, standing up and looking down into his firelit eyes. “Not to me,” he muttered. “What you said earlier, I don't really know what to say.”

“You listened. That's all I could ask of you.”

“That's easy enough.” He shrugged awkwardly. “I'll see you before I leave, definitely.”

“Yeah.”

They said goodnight and Levi nodded at the kids as he trudged back up the beach. It was only when he was closing the gate with its No Dogs sign behind him that he realised that Eren was probably pretty lonely, watching over the kids but unable to join them and unsuited to the more conventional life of his peers.

It was sort of the story of his life, he thought, working things out when it was far too late to do anything about it.


	6. Mythology

Levi did sleep well that night, but he didn't get to sleep in. He was jolted awake sometime before dawn by someone knocking on his front door.

He rolled out of bed and staggered upright to answer it, prepared to give whoever was on the other side a piece of his mind if it wasn't an absolute fucking emergency.

It was Eren, and Levi’s angry words died in his throat.

He was in his wetsuit, the ends of his hair still wet, and his truck was parked across the driveway. He grinned at Levi's bewildered expression, a boyish smile that Levi had missed; he looked vital, you could feel the energy rolling off him, like the excitement of an incoming storm.

“Sorry to get you up so early.” He handed Levi a part of shorts. “They're here. I hoped they would be. Put these on and come with me.”

“What?”

“Come on.” He beckoned, begged almost, and he reminded Levi of an otter, sleek and damp and playful. It wasn't even five am yet. How could he possibly say no? Levi asked for five minutes and was back out in three, a bath towel draped over his shoulders and his bare skin goosebumping in the cold morning air. Eren’s shorts were slightly long but otherwise fit him perfectly which was _weird_. The water was going to be freezing, he thought.

But the delight on Eren's face when he emerged from the house made him feel warmer. And the way he eyed Levi's bare chest, startled and _impressed_ made up for the fact that Levi was so tired he could feel tears gather in the corners of his eyes as he yawned.

They drove back to the beach, and when they arrived Eren cursed for forgetting Isabel's old board but decided against going back for it. Whatever they were here for, it couldn’t wait. It was dark and cold and Levi picked his way across the beach in Eren's footsteps, wondering what madness had brought him out here. There was just enough light to see where they were putting their feet.

The water was icy. Levi sucked in a sharp breath as it washed over his feet and he could feel his balls tightening in anticipatory horror.

“Come on, the faster you get in the quicker you'll get used to it,” Eren said, before plunging into the surf like a puppy.

“Yeah yeah,” Levi muttered. Easy to say when you're in a wetsuit, he thought. Nevertheless he clamped his jaw around his chattering teeth and grimly followed Eren out towards the lightening sky. The salt and sand and foam fizzed and buzzed across his skin, and once he managed to get his breath back it got a bit easier.

They paddled out on either side of Eren's board, past the breakers. Levi swam fast, trying to warm his muscles up, and Eren kept effortless pace.

“There! Did you see?”

Levi raised his head, but he'd missed it. “What?”

“Ahh you'll see.” Eren grinned at him, wide and joyous. He probably hadn't expected Levi to go along with whatever this was.

They were in the calm patch beyond the surf now, and Eren hopped up on the board, and helped Levi up as well. He'd lost all sense of balance over the years; he hadn't surfed at all since he'd left home, and most of his swimming he'd done in a gym pool. Eren's hand was warm and Levi found himself leaning in to the touch and Eren either didn't mind or didn't notice and they ended up with their sides pressed against each other, feet in the water.

“There.” Eren pointed.

And Levi saw them. Three fins cutting through the water.

“Jesus fuck!” He nearly tipped them both off the board getting his feet out of the water, and Eren grabbed him to steady them.

“They're not sharks,” Eren said, laughter in his voice.

Levi's breath caught as a smooth gleaming back rose from the water and plopped back in with barely a splash. Cautiously he lowered his toes back into the water as more of them appeared.

“Dolphins,” he breathed, awestruck.

“Yeah, they come past twice a year. I was hoping you'd get to see them.” Eren's arm was warm against his, even through the neoprene and his face was alight with eager joy. “I didn't discover them until a couple of years after you'd left. When I started surfing every day.”

There might have been half a dozen; Levi wasn't sure. It wasn't easy to keep track of them as they lazily jumped and dived. The water was too dark to see below the surface. He stared and stared, twisting his head every time he heard the surface break.

“They're good luck,” Eren said. “Or supposed to be. The Greeks believed they'd carry sailors back to shore. That they'd help people in need. It might not have been a myth entirely, you know?”

“They remind me of you,” Levi said, the words slipping out. Instantly he regretted it, but Eren raised his eyebrows and it was too late to pretend he hadn't said anything. “Like, you helped me and you, swim. A lot.” In gleaming black wetsuits, all grace and muscle, playful and kind and eternally out of reach.

“I think you did most of the hard work,” Eren said. “But you're welcome, Levi.”

Levi managed a smile and then gasped as something nudged his leg.

“They're right under us!”

“Come on,” Eren said and slid back off the board into the water, ungainly beside the creatures around him.

“Is that allowed?” Levi asked.

“Nope!” He spat out seawater and grinned and Levi missed his warmth. In the morning air the water felt warmer by comparison and he too slid in. They stayed close to the board, just treading water while the dolphins moved around them. Occasionally Levi felt them nudge him but he didn't really get to touch one.

It didn't matter. His heart felt full and he couldn't keep the smile off his face. Occasionally his eyes would meet Eren's and they'd beam at each other, laughing in disbelief like schoolchildren. I am going to remember this for the rest of my life, Levi told himself.

“Every year,” Eren called. “I worry that they won't come back, but they always do. In the spring they bring their children.”

Levi tried to imagine it.

Dawn broke, the sun shining in their eyes as they bobbed in the water. The dolphins gradually moved on, and Levi realised they'd drifted quite a way out. Whitecrest Cove looked so small and distant, just a tiny collection of buildings like a pile of litter scattered on the ground.

And his teeth were chattering again.

But he didn't want to head back. Part of him wanted to join the dolphins until he thought about the ocean behind him and his stomach lurched at its immensity and he remembered this was not his element.

“They picked a bad time for their bonfire,” Eren said. “The others'll be sleeping it off and they’ll have missed it.”

Levi didn’t mind. The fact that Eren had shared this experience with him alone only made it more precious. Eren was warm and Levi found himself swimming close, their arms and legs occasionally bumping against each other. Eren looked so happy; years had fallen away from his face.

They staggered upright as they reached shallow water, the waves buffeting them, but not hard enough to make them lose their footing.

“F-f-f-fuck it’s cold,” Levi said, wishing the morning sunlight was stronger; he could only barely sense the slightest heat from it on his back and shoulders.

Eren put his hand on his shoulder, and peered worriedly at his face.

“Your lips do look a little blue,” he said. The light caught the green in Eren’s eyes, and Levi watched as he blinked water out of them. They stood so close, seeking heat, maybe that was all it was. Eren’s tongue wet his lower lip.

I am not a boy any more, he thought. I make my own mistakes. He felt like he'd been blessed this morning, that the universe had handed him a gift he didn't have to work for. Sometimes it gave you a second chance, too, he thought. Eren had come out here and seen the dolphins and turned right around to get him, risking missing them entirely, with no guarantee Levi would even agree to come.

Levi popped himself up on his toes and pressed his lips to Eren’s. It was just to test it out, really, he’d planned to flee, but the board hit the water with a splash and it surged up towards the beach on the next wave and Eren wrapped his arms around Levi’s shoulders and pulled him in close before he could get away and Levi closed his eyes.

All Levi could taste was salt, but he could feel the heat of Eren’s mouth and he chased it and Eren parted his lips and let him, and it was kind of almost just like he’d fantasised.

Better, even.

They parted, finally, and Eren licked his lips again and skimmed his palms down Levi’s arms.

“Is this a bad idea?” Levi asked, once he'd found his voice.

“If you have to ask, it probably is,” Eren grinned, but to Levi it was like a slap in the face. What _was_ he doing? This was Eren, not some stranger he’d met on the beach. They had history, they had, he’d been— he hadn’t even thought about it, their shared history, all morning. They’d lived entirely in the moment, but now it was all crashing back.

“Yeah,” Levi said in a strangled tone, stepping out of Eren’s arms. He saw Eren’s face change in a moment, sudden uncertainty and guilt flooding his features.

Shit.

He had to get out of here.

“I’ll walk back,” he said, and fled. Eren was delayed getting his board, but he didn’t try and chase him as Levi jogged up the beach and grabbed his towel out of the back of the pickup. He wrapped it around himself, drying his hair as he loped off, like some embarrassed teenager, he thought unhappily.

Some things would never change, and Levi himself was probably one of them.

  



	7. Storm

When Levi arrived home his legs were rubbery and his hair was stuck to his forehead with a cold sweat. He made a beeline for the shower and used up most of the hot water thawing himself out. He found himself waiting for Eren to contact him, but he knew he wouldn’t; Levi was the one who wanted to leave and Eren would give him his space. All the space in the world. For the rest of his life, probably, unless he did something about it.

Levi got dressed and wandered through the empty house, making tea with the kettle he’d brought with him and grilling some toast on the stove; there was nothing else left to cook with.

Shit.

Kenny had said more than once, in a genially mocking tone, that Levi was a fuckup, and now he’d gone and proved it. He rolled the events of the morning around in his head, beautiful memories tarnished as soon as they were made first by his own impulsiveness and then by cowardice.

He’d go back. Sometime before he’d left town he’d go back and apologise; it was the least he could do. Eren didn’t deserve--

Eren had kissed him back. He hadn’t hesitated. Levi made a frustrated noise and stalked around his kitchen, running his fingers through his hair. He needed distracting.

Wouldn’t hurt to give the place another once-over with the vacuum, he thought.

Levi had spent a long time with Eren under his skin, but never like this. The look he’d left Eren with made him feel a wave of guilt whenever he considered it. He never, ever wanted to hurt Eren. Not after Eren had reached out, even after all these years, and made the effort to make him feel a bit welcome. He’d shared his own insecurities, made him feel like an equal. Reminded him that they _were_ equals now, whether they were friends or family or anything else.

Two lonely guys watching the kids play in the sand.

Eren had reached out.

Levi had been sweeping the driveway and sidewalk free of leaves as boiling black clouds had obscured the late afternoon sun, and now he stopped, letting the breeze off the ocean ruffle his hair and undo most of the sweeping he’d just done.

Storm coming, he thought absently. It was obvious even to him. One of those howling Autumn storms that turned the waves tawny with stirred sand.

Eren had reached out.

Levi gripped the broom handle tighter, working his fingers over the smooth wood, his heart pounding in his chest. Every time he’d messed up, Eren had always forgiven him. Right now Eren probably thought he’d screwed up as well. Levi watched the clouds roll in and made his decision.

There was thunder in the air when he pulled on his shoes and grabbed his keys before jogging over to Eren’s place. His leg muscles were still tight from that morning and his car was in the garage, but he didn’t even think of using it until he was halfway there. He’d always walked to Eren’s place.

He picked up the pace a bit, spots of rain starting to fall as he arrived at Eren’s street. The pickup was parked out the front and the lights were on inside. He wasn’t the only one to turn them on early; it was _dark_.

He slowed to a walk, catching his breath, clenching and unclenching his hands as he walked up Eren’s driveway. If there was one thing in his life he did not fuck up, let it be this, he thought.

He knocked.

Eren answered the door slightly breathlessly, like he’d run for it.

“Levi.”

“Hey.”

“Come in, before it really starts to rain,” he said, standing aside. “You cut it pretty close.” The wind was howling now and Eren had to force shut the door behind him.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, Levi it’s fine, I should have-” He broke off when Levi took his hand. It was a fine hand; well made, and strong, calloused and weathered. Levi looked at it for a few moments and Eren watched him.

“I should have thought through what I was going to say before I got here,” he muttered.

“Take your time,” Eren said, his words nearly lost in a roll of thunder. When Levi didn’t say anything he continued, “It’s getting close; I wouldn’t be surprised if we lose power.”

Levi smiled, remembering nights like this one, he and Isabel carrying candles around the house just for the sheer novelty of it, and sitting around the portable gas stove toasting marshmallows and making tea while Eren told them unlikely stories.

“Power supply’s still shit, huh?” he said, like they were having an ordinary conversation, like Eren’s hand wasn’t still resting in his.

“You know Whitecrest; nothing ever changes for the better.”

“Yeah.”

“You changed,” Eren said. “But you went away. You went away and I hardly recognise you now.”

“I don’t know if you’ve changed or not,” Levi said. “I guess I didn’t really know you back then.”

“It’s only right a teenager is concerned with themselves, first and foremost. You knew me well enough.”

“Yeah well, I’m not a teenager any more, and I’m sorry.” Levi looked up to meet his eyes, determined not to fuck this up. “I’m not sorry for kissing you but I am sorry for running away and making it weird.”

Eren stared at him for a moment and then the lines at the corners of his mouth deepened as he smiled with relief. “It was always going to be weird,” Eren muttered. “I'm sorry I made light of your question; I was nervous.”

Levi released his hand. “Could you explain that a bit further?” he asked, the blood in his ears louder than the wind outside. They were still standing in the hallway, but neither was inclined to move. “What was always going to be weird?”

“Us,” Eren said, gesturing between them. “This. You’ve grown up so--. Fuck. There’s no way to say this without sounding like a creep. You’re different, but you are still you. It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He smiled. “Again.”

“And you’re still, uh, really hot. I had such a crush on you,” Levi confessed.

“I know. It was a bit endearing.”

“Don’t say that.” He could feel a faint smile tugging at his face. His deepest secret, the thing he’d never even mentioned to Mike, out in the open like it was no big deal, something to laugh over. It didn’t seem to matter so much any more. It had mattered so much for so long and now, now he felt free of it.

Now it had been replaced with something different.

Levi took a deep breath. “Can we go back and start again?”

“From where?”

“From ‘Is this a bad idea?’ maybe.”

“Oh.” Eren rubbed the back of his neck and gave Levi a sly smile. “I was kind of hoping we could do the kissing bit again.”

“Later,” Levi said, wondering where the air had suddenly got to and how he managed to keep his voice steady.

“Okay. It doesn’t feel bad to me. What about you?”

Levi looked up at him, the friend’s father he’d known a long time ago, and the man he’d only known for a handful of days. He liked him, this man, sexy and slightly sly in a way his teenage self couldn’t have appreciated. Regretful and uncertain in a way he wouldn’t have liked. Beautiful and generous as he’d always known him to be.

“Feels like,” he began. “Feels like the best bad idea I’ve ever had. And I’ve had some good ones.”

Eren laughed, and it hadn’t changed a bit.

They collided slightly harder than Levi had expected; Eren moved just as fast as he had. The storm was here, he thought as Eren wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him in close and Levi put his hands to the side of Eren’s face and pulled it down, and Eren went. Eren bent and curled down and filled Levi’s lungs with the salt spice sweat smell of him and filled his ears with the sound of his breath, and Levi was too startled and overwhelmed to stop him filling his mouth with his tongue.

Eren’s hair brushed the back of Levi’s hands, and the skin at the corners of his eyes under Levi’s thumbs was loose and soft. Levi was ravenous for him, teeth at Eren’s lips, chapped from salt and sun. He’d missed him, missed him so much it hurt but it had been worth it. He couldn’t hold him like this if he hadn’t gone away first.

They broke apart when the power died. Levi had barely paid attention to the lightning outside but Eren pulled back as everything went dark.

“Crap,” he said, not sounding all that upset, really. “So much for cooking dinner.”

Levi laughed, and he so rarely laughed it sounded strange to his own ears, throaty and thick, and he couldn’t see Eren’s face but he felt him shiver. “Got any other suggestions then?”

“Do I have to spell them out?” Eren asked.

“No.”

Lightning intermittently lit their path, but Levi already knew the way. Eren laced his fingers through Levi’s and they walked bumping shoulders, Levi’s heart alternating between soaring with joy and swooping to the bottom of his gut with nerves.

The images came and went at the whim of the lightning. Eren’s brilliant grin. His own hands on the laces of his trainers. The rumpled contours of Eren’s bed. The twist of Eren’s body as his tossed his shirt away. Eren’s eyes as he leaned in to kiss him. Eren’s hard arms. Eren’s softening stomach. Eren’s smile again. Eren’s cock.

Levi waited for the next flash, holding his breath.

Eren’s hands on his chest. Eren’s legs either side of his hips. Eren leaning forward. Eren arching back. Eren’s smile. Eren.

There was too much lightning for his eyes to adjust to the dark. He saw and then was blind and saw again. He felt without pause; Eren’s breath and hands and lips and his skin under Levi’s fingers, muscles rolling as he moved. Warm slick of precome on his stomach, the hairs on Eren’s legs, the almost painful press of their cocks against each other. He smelled rain and ozone, but mostly Eren; the bedclothes smelled like Eren sleeping and Eren above him smelled like lust; Levi could almost taste it on his teeth. He heard rain and thunder and Eren’s breathing and his own and they passed each other their names, back and forth across the narrow gap between their lips.

Eren was eager, he took just as much as he gave, or maybe Levi let him have it, Levi wanted him to leave bruises, wanted to feel him, because he was strong enough and old enough now to handle it. He could still breathe with Eren’s weight on his chest, he could lift him up with his hips, his stomach flexing and the lightning showed Eren’s mouth making an o of surprise when he did so.

“Fuck you’re fit,” Eren groaned. Levi didn’t answer, he just felt Eren moving above him and wondered what he’d been like when he was young. Exhausting, probably.

Eren said something about his knees and flopped forward, unbending his legs and lying flat on top of Levi. They didn’t stop moving against each other, taking the slow, beautifully agonising path to orgasm without hands, rutting against each other.

Levi was pretty sure he’d be able to feel his stomach muscles tomorrow, as he levered himself up against Eren’s stomach, seeking friction. He came tugging on Eren’s hair, Eren breathing harshly against his cheek, lightning flickering beyond his closed eyelids.

He wasn’t sure when Eren came but the mess slid across his stomach and Eren flopped down beside him on the bed, wiggling one arm under Levi’s shoulders and pulling him close. Levi let himself be pulled.

“You looked so good running down that beach,” Eren said, pressing his nose into Levi's hair. “I couldn’t believe it when I recognised you. I felt pretty guilty about it.”

“You were checking me out?” Levi asked.

“Have you looked at yourself lately? You’ve got abs carved out of marble. Why do you think the end of my surf coincided with your arrival? I knew you weren’t local; hoped you might be someone I’d like to know.”

“And was I?”

“You were always worth knowing, Levi.”

The lights came back on abruptly and they winced and blinked in the sudden glare.

“Ow,” Eren said. He sat up slightly and looked at them. Without the cover of darkness they were just naked, naked and rather filthy.

Levi smirked, “Whoops.”

Eren, however, looked apprehensive. He frowned and glanced down at his own stomach and softening cock. “Levi,” he said softly.

“Round two already? How old are you supposed to be again?” Levi could almost see what he was thinking and he had to put a stop to that nonsense before it started. Eren hadn’t snuck himself in under the cover of darkness; in the electric light Levi couldn’t see anything to regret.

Eren smiled, “Not quite yet.”

“What now?”

“If the power stays on I’ll cook us dinner,” Eren said. “And you’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”

“I’m going home on Monday,” Levi said.

“I know.”

He sat up and rested his head on Eren’s shoulder. “But until then, I’d like to stay.”

  



	8. Soul Mates

Levi edged into the kitchen around a stack of cardboard boxes.

“I managed to fit them all into that blue hamper,” he said. “So don’t forget where they are later.”

“Mhm,” Eren said, carefully taping up another box.

There was a very large, flat envelope sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Hey, what’s this?” Levi asked. He'd seen it earlier, but assumed it was part of the many piles of rubbish that seemed to have collected in every drawer and cupboard in the house.

“It’s from Isabel,” Eren said, getting to his feet. “It had both our names on the front so I didn’t open it.”

“She moves fast, doesn’t she?” Levi said. He had a bad feeling about this. Nevertheless he slid his finger under the flap and opened it.

His sense of trepidation increased when he slid out a handmade card with a rainbow heart on the front and SOUL MATES written in large letters, accented with more hearts.

“How does a woman her age own so many glitter pens?” Levi asked.

“I can’t imagine,” Eren said innocently. “Soul Mates? I told her you’re my mid-life crisis.”

“What, you’ll be sick of me in two years?”

“No.” Eren slung an arm around his shoulders and nuzzled the top of his head. “You’re incredibly sexy and no one can figure out how I could afford you.”

“To be fair, you are selling your house.”

“Oh, just open it. Get it over with.”

“God fucking dammit!” Levi exclaimed, as he flipped the card open.

Eren just burst out laughing.

“That little shit,” Levi continued and Eren separated himself so he could rest his hands on the counter and laugh harder.

“That’s my girl,” he said finally, tears in his eyes.

_To Dad and Papa,_ the card began. Isabel continued with good wishes and endearments and signed off with several crosses.

Levi glared at Eren who shook his head, still working on controlling his laughter. “I wasn’t my idea, I swear.”

“When’s she visiting us?” Levi asked. “Once the shop’s open, right? I’m going to put washing powder in her tea.”

“Please don’t,” Eren said. “And don’t throw it out, either!”

“We’re not putting it on the fridge.”

“Fine,” Eren allowed.

Levi looked around at the half-packed chaos of Eren’s kitchen.

“Eren—.”

“If you ask ‘is this okay’ one more time, I’m going to photograph that card and put it on Facebook.”

“I don't have a facebook,” Levi said. “So the only person it'll embarrass is you.”

Eren raised an eyebrow. “I'll call you my 'soul mate' in public then.” At Levi's horrified look he relented, “It’s fine, Levi. This is what I want. A new town, a new beach, a new life with you in it.”

“What if I fuck it up and we go broke? It’s fine if it’s just my money, but I'm taking so much of yours.”

“Then we’ll live in a tent on the beach,” Eren said. “It’s much warmer over there, so it won’t be so bad, even in winter.”

“Guess not,” Levi smiled.

“Levi,” Eren took his hands. “You won’t fuck it up. I’ve _never_ seen you fuck up.”

“I’m dating you.”

“And that was a terrible decision but I’d hoped you'd overlook that.”

“I love you,” Levi said. It was getting easier to say.

“Yep, I am pretty loveable.” Eren grinned. It faded. “You’re not so bad yourself, you know.”

Levi believed him. How could he not, with the way Eren looked at him, like everything on that ridiculous card was true.


End file.
